My friend M***y (a plea for help and prayers)

         
          If you were studying in the Ateneo between the years 1995-1998, and used to hang out in the Colayco Hall (specifically the ACMG-Kaingin-LiKaS-Musmos Room), then my friend M***y is most likely your friend too. 

          Most of us fondly remember M***y as a kind and mild-mannered person who is well loved by his circle of friends.  His lack in physical stature is more than made up for by the size of his heart, and his generosity.  At a time when organizers/filofaxes were the rage, he always created colorful and expertly-designed fillers ("M***y Papel") and gave them away to those who would simply ask for it.  He was an industrious FinCom head of LiKaS who went beyond the limits of his job in order to ensure the success of an org activity.  And most of all, he's the friend whom most of us would feel comfortable sharing our personal issues/concerns with.

          It might perhaps be an overstatement to say that M***y is a rock or a bulwark.  But it is true that he is one of the very few things constant at a time when we were all beginning to learn that all things change.  You can always rely on M***y.  He might not necessarily give the best advice, but you can be sure he's there when you need him.

          There is a lot more that I wish to share about M***y, and I'm sure you who also know him have your own fond memories of him.  It is for the sake of these same memories that I'm asking you to read carefully the next paragraphs.

          According to a common friend, M***y began a mental/emotional downward spiral around two years ago, and is exhibiting mildly alarming manifestations.  He rarely goes out and spends a lot of time locked inside his room.  He no longer uses a cellphone, and gives the justification that he supposedly lost his charger.  Whenever someone tries to contact him through landline, more often than not he asks someone else to tell the person that he is not at home or that he is in the shower.  He is unemployed and from what I heard, rarely tries to find work (I might need to double-check on this).  He is frequently moody and has been recently known to mildly berate people who try to shake him out of his self-imposed isolation.

          When I was hearing these details, I found it hard to believe that this was the same M***y that I knew.  I last spent time with him two years back, and he still seemed to be the same M***y of old.  This afternoon, however, was a wake-up call for me because I got to observe first hand how far removed he has become from the person we knew, and how seemingly close he is to the condition that claimed his older brother (who is also my friend).

          October 1 (yesterday) was M***y's birthday and a surprise party was planned for him.  I was there and I eagerly awaited his arrival in the restaurant where reservations were made for the event.  There were around 20 of us friends and relatives there, and we understood that some deceit had to be employed by his eldest brother (a.k.a. "Kuya Pogi") in order to bring him to the party.  We were therefore surprised when Kuya Pogi arrived without M***y.  Apparently, he began to have one of his moods and refused to leave the house for what he thought was a simple family lunch.  The househelp made matters worse by inadvertently revealing that there was a surprise party for him.  This caused M***y to retreat to his room, locking it, and refusing to speak anymore to his eldest brother.

          It was surreal, dining in the restaurant in what was supposed to be a party for him when he is nowhere to be found (and with the knowledge that he specifically refused to join us even if he knew we were already there.)  But we, his friends who were present, didn't give up and we resolved to proceed to M***y's house and possibly force him to face us.  It is a testament to how well-loved M***y is that we unanimously decided to still attempt to express to him directly that we care for him.  We were a mixed group of his friends from high school, college and his former job, and I was apparently the only one who encountered this from M***y for the first time.

          Upon reaching his house, we caught him brushing his teeth.  And he didn't even move his head to acknowledge us.  When he was done, he simply ascended the stairs and again locked himself in his room.  That was very hard for me, seeing him like that.  This was a completely different person from the one I knew.  Some of the females in our group tried to follow him up the stairs to coax him to join us, but they were coldly told by him to stop trying.  To make a long story short, it took some 30 minutes before M***y was finally persuaded to join us. 

         Interestingly, once you get to make him speak, you begin to get the idea that everything is normal again.  He even cracks jokes and responds to people similar to how we remember him.  But a closer look reveals that M***y has lost some of the liveliness that endeared him to us.  He's much colder and aloof.  He often does not look at people when he's talking to them.  On the physical side, he has gained weight, and he no longer sports the "clean cut" look that he had all through college and the years after.

          There are a number of factors that might have brought this about but we will not go into those for now.  What is important is for me to make you aware that this is happening, so that if there's anything that we can do to save our friend, then by all means let us do it.

          Personally, I believe we need express to him in some way that we care, and that we are here for him as much as he was there for us in the past.   However, what makes this particularly difficult is his tendency to shut out everyone and everything else.  He refuses to talk about his present condition, much less acknowledge the fact that he needs professional help.  Everytime someone tries to reach out to him, he immediately retreats and shuts everything out like an armadillo.

          M***y vehemently refuses to see a Psychiatrist due to the tragedy that happened to his late older brother.  Apparently, the latter was given wrong medication for years that made his condition worsen and ultimately led to his suicide.  M***y is not suicidal, and is actually afraid of being one.  But we fear that he might be on the extreme opposite side of things and live out his life being increasingly afraid every day.  This is why I implore anyone who knows an expert who can deal with this difficult type situation (i.e. a situation where someone who needs help does not want to seek help) to offer such expertise to his M***y's family.

          For all the rest, even those who do not know M***y, it probably won't be too much to ask to pray for him so that he won't sink further into his condition.  Thank you.